Please Come To Boston
by pandorabox82
Summary: Penelope finds herself confronted about where her heart lies when she returns to Boston and Alex after four grueling days awake. Will they be able to find a way to compromise, or is their relationship doomed?


"I haven't slept in four days, Alex," Penelope breathed out as she collapsed on the couch, letting out a long, frustrated breath. "I hate cases like this, where I can't find the information that the team needs, and I feel like I have to drive myself into the ground to get results.

The other woman sighed as she nodded, handing Penelope a mug of tea before she took a seat next to her and curled her feet beneath her as she let her head come to rest on Penelope's shoulder. "I really wish that you would retire from there. I hate seeing you come home to me so exhausted."

She shrugged a tiny bit, not wanting to jostle Alex's head as she ran her finger along the lip of her mug, drawing in a few deep breaths as she thought about what to say. "I guess I'm just not very comfortable with being a kept woman. I want to contribute to this relationship, especially since James was such a heavy contributor for you. I know, you've told me a hundred times over not to compare myself to him, but my heart can't help doing it still, even after three years together."

Alex sighed once more before setting her mug on the coffee table so that she could turn and look into her eyes. Penelope gave her a small smile before letting out a relieved breath when Alex kissed her softly, one hand burying itself into her hair as she deepened the kiss. "When James died, I thought that I would follow soon after him. Not through anything drastic, I'm not some lovelorn woman on the moors of England, pining away for my lost lover, but through just stopping. You came to me when I most needed someone, and helped me to find the drive that I had lost. That's all I would ever ask from you."

"But I want to give you so much more?"

"Then stay with me here in Boston. I know that I am blessed by the fact that you come to me every weekend, but I want you here for good. Even if you have to work remotely, I would be more than willing to help make over our shared office into more of a tech cave for you." Alex pulled away from her and picked up her mug once more, wrapping her hands around it as she stared at the floor.

"You don't really want me here, underfoot, all the time. Do you?"

There was a moment's hesitation before Alex replied. "I wouldn't have asked you to stay if I didn't want you here all the time. We haven't really fought yet, because you're not here enough to fight with. And it's not like I want to argue or anything like that, but there are aspects to fighting that I miss." Alex's cheeks turned a deep red as she tightened her grip on her mug. "I want to have a more normal relationship. I always missed James so much when he was overseas. It was easy to pretend that I was okay with it, since for a large part of that time, I was teaching at the university. But once I started back with the BAU, I just…lost the plot. I needed someone to unwind with in the evenings, and James wasn't there, and it wasn't like we could call each other easily, what with the time differences. Erin's death, and Spencer's brush with death, those broke something in me, and I clung to James so hard. And then I lost him, and you walked into my life as the best friend a grieving woman could ask for. It was easy to fall in love with you, and to let you have your space. But now, three years into loving you, I find myself with the same desire, to spend more time with you. If you don't want that, I completely understand, but I…"

Her voice trailed off, as if she didn't want to vocalise where her thoughts were leading her, and Penelope frowned deeply as Alex rose to her feet and rushed from the room, tears streaming down her face. Her tired brain knew that she had made a misstep somewhere, but she couldn't quite figure out where things had gone so far off the rails. Taking a few long sips from her mug, she set the tea aside and got to her feet, knowing that Alex had probably holed herself up in their bedroom. As she climbed the stairs, Penelope tried to think about what she would say to her lover, how she could get her to talk a little, to explain why her heart was breaking, even as they were still in love. She knew the sticky wicket was her desire for independence, but seeing as how they had never really discussed her staying permanently, she hadn't really known how to reply to Alex's plea.

Taking a deep breath, Penelope reached out and turned the doorknob to their bedroom, letting herself in to the room and looking around for Alex. She was stretched out on the bed, her face buried in her pillow as she sobbed disconsolately. The sight broke her heart, and she quietly padded over to the bed and sank down on the mattress, reaching out to stroke her hair. For the first time, Penelope noticed that there were streaks of silver starting to appear in Alex's hair, lending her a distinguished air, and the realization that her partner was getting older, and so was she, hit her hard. "I really want to talk about this some more, darling, but I think that I'm too exhausted to be cogent. May I sleep with you tonight, and when I get up in the morning, we'll pick this conversation up again?"

Alex nodded a little, though she didn't lift her head, and Penelope let her own tears start to fall as she stood up once more and slowly stripped off her clothes. Once she was naked, Penelope pulled back the sheets and slipped beneath them, turning on her side so that she could watch Alex. Hesitantly, she reached out her arm and let it come to rest around her waist, wanting to be close to her as she drifted off to sleep. The last thing she was aware of was Alex turning towards her, snuggling in close as she buried her face into the crook of Penelope's neck, her tears dampening her skin and hair as the black void of sleep claimed her.

When Penelope woke up next, the sun was streaming in the window, which told her that it was fair later than she thought. Sitting up, she stretched and let out a wide yawn as she looked around for Alex. As her eye hit the clock, she saw that it was after eleven, which meant that she had slept for fourteen hours straight. Her stomach grumbled, informing her that she needed to eat. Groaning a little, she cracked her back as she padded over to the dresser and pulled out a nightgown, putting it on before wrapping her robe around her body and making her way down to the kitchen. Alex was there, cooking something that smelled absolutely delicious. "Good morning, Penny."

"Umm, good morning, Lexie." She went over to her side, wrapping her arms around Alex's waist as she hooked her chin over the woman's shoulder. "How did you know that I would be up in time for food?"

"I was planning on waking you once it was ready to go," Alex replied softly before she turned to look into Penelope's face. "I thought that we could eat, and then talk. Some conversations are better to have on a full stomach, after all." She nodded before kissing Alex's cheek. "I do love you, Penelope."

"And I do love you, Alexandra." They smiled at each other before Alex turned to finish making the food. While she was occupied with that, Penelope set the table for their meal, making certain to fill the water pitcher before setting it on the table and taking a seat. Alex served them before she sat down, reaching out to squeeze her hand gently before pouring herself a glass of water. "I can't believe that I slept that long."

"That's what staying up for so many days will do to you, sweetheart. You need to start thinking about your health with your job." Alex winced as those words came out of her lips, and Penelope gave her a small smile as she reached across the table and rubbed her hand, trying to let her know that she understood that the comment had come from a good place. "Sorry, I let my words get ahead of my heart."

"It's all right, Lexie. I know that things are bubbling at the surface of my heart, too." Alex turned her hand over so that she could clasp Penelope's, and they continued to eat like that. She found that she rather liked the contact, as it reminded her that Alex was still with her, that she hadn't walked out in the middle of the night. Not that she would have expected that, but it could have been a possibility. "All right, should we take this to the living room?"

Alex nodded as she rose to her feet, her hand loosening in Penelope's. "I'll head there if you'd like to clean up here?"

"Of course." Alex gave her a fleeting smile before disappearing out of the room, and Penelope let out a deep sigh as she rinsed off the plates and placed them in the dishwasher. Closing the machine with a soft kick, she turned it on before picking up their glasses and bringing them into the living room with her. A tiny smile curved across her lips to find Alex not on the sofa, but rather the loveseat, knowing that the smaller space meant they would have to sit closer together. That was a good sign, and she went over to her side, handing her her glass before taking a seat next to her and letting her head come to rest on her shoulder. "All right, so, now we have our difficult talk."

"Yes. I know I sprung the idea of you being here permanently last night, especially when you were so exhausted, but I couldn't keep the words inside any longer. I've been wanting you here permanently for six months now, and it finally wore me down enough where the words just slipped out before I could call them back."

"And that's why it hurt so much when I didn't reply the way you wanted. Because you had built up our conversation in your head already, and thought that you had all possible directions played out." Alex nodded. "I'll admit, I probably would have reacted differently if I wasn't exhausted, so I apologise for that." Turning her head, she kissed Alex's head softly. "And do you really want me here, underfoot, where we can't escape if I truly get on your nerves? Who know, I could be a terror to live with."

"I think that I have a pretty good idea of what you're like to live with, given all the weekends and vacation days we've spent together. I know that's not a true picture of how we'll muddle along, but I have the feeling that everything will work together for good. And like I said, I want the chance to fight with you, and learn how we make up. James and I didn't have much practice at that, but making up was ever so sweet. I want that for us. I want to creep up behind you and press kisses to your neck as I slide my hands beneath your shirt to spread out on your skin. I want to coax a smile back onto your face with my lips. I want so damn much, Penelope, but I have to know if you are even close to being on that page with me."

There was a deep pain in Alex's voice, and Penelope threw her arm around Alex's shoulders, pulling her closer to her chest as she took a deep breath. "I haven't ever been one to stay. Kevin was fine with me keeping him at arms' length. Sam, well, we were more casual than anything. Luke was fucking married, and yet I still allowed myself to fall for him. Emily was a short dalliance. This? This has been the closest thing that I've ever had that makes me want to stay. But I wouldn't be honest if I didn't tell you that that feeling also terrifies me. Because who am I that you would want me to stay?"

"Oh, my darling Penelope," Alex breathed out as she twisted her body around so that she could look into her eyes, her hand cupping her face before she leaned in and kissed her delicately. "You are the woman that I have fallen in love with, who carries my heart with her every time she goes back to Quantico. You bring my life such joy, and I can't begin to describe that incredible fullness." Tears sparkled in Alex's eyes, and then the distance between their faces disappeared as the woman leaned in and kissed her sweetly.

That was what seemed to seal the deal for Penelope, and she let out a tiny little breath of pleasure when they broke apart. "I probably won't be able to get away just like that, but I could start cutting back my hours. I could spend four days a week here, and three there, moving things here slowly. We could grow accustomed to each other, and I could see about doing remote work, so that in a few months, I could work from home. If you don't mind seeing all that death and gore once more."

"I wouldn't mind that at all, as long as it meant I got to see more of you." They kissed once more, and then Alex was crawling into Penelope's lap, straddling her as she buried her hands in her hair, looking deep into her eyes. "I will take and cherish every moment that I get with you, even as I jealously want more."

"Jealous sound beautiful coming from your lips," she breathed out before capturing Alex's lips in a torrid kiss. "Does it make me selfish if I ask for the right to keep my apartment in Quantico for a year from today? Just in case you do get tired of my being underfoot?"

"I suppose that I could live with that, sweetheart." Another kiss, and then Alex's hands were rucking up the nightshirt she was wearing. "I think that it's time to do what I wanted to when you came home last night. Wouldn't you agree?"

"Uh huh," she gasped out as Alex's hands skimmed against her breasts, causing her to shiver with pleasure. "Oh, Alex, I just wish that every moment could be as perfect as this one is. I love you." Smiling, she gave her another kiss before gently pushing Alex off her lap, staring up at her with desire heavy eyes.

"You look like you want to devour me." There was a breathless, wild, tone to Alex's voice, and she nodded in response, licking her lips a little.

"I do. Now, how about you head upstairs, and I'll try to catch you? I'll even give you a bit of a head start before I begin to hunt you down." Alex blushed fiercely as she bit her lip. "Until the count of ten. One, two…" Alex turned on her heel and raced for the stairs. Penelope chuckled as she slowly rose to her feet, shedding the robe as she made her way over to the staircase, finding herself so pleased that she had come to Boston so many years ago, as it had led to this relationship that she had with Alex. And she wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.


End file.
